Bushisms.... Get your Bushisms... Post those suckers right here on this here page and contribute to the cause (the cause of keeping ourselves amused). This is dedicated to all the people who've been requesting a comprehensive section for all the entertaining ways that our stunning new prez can find to insert his foot into his mouth...
"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism, polls, and principles, come join this campaign... It's going to require a President who understands it's in our strategic intrests to have a peaceful and ecomnomically vile hemisphere."
Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion.
Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given the Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall.
The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking "I'm not as dumb as they think I am... I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"
"When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive."
Dubya, waxing philosophical about then-President Clinton's 1998 retaliatory cruise missle strike against Osama bin Laden, according to Newsweek.
He's back. Six months after his transformation from national joke into indefatigable statesman, George W. Bush was on vintage form at a recent concert given in his honour. As Stevie Wonder took the stage, the President started waving to the blind musician...
Anybody notice that we've gone from declaring war on distant foreign countries in the 50's and 60's (Korea and Vietnam, to declaring war on inanimate objects (drugs), to declaring war on intangibles (terrorism [not terrorISTS])? How does that work, anyway? What exactly do we fight? I could probably kick the shit outta a bag of weed on my own, but I'm not so sure about terrorism... And then: do we fight until drugs and terrorism raise their little white flags?
Oh yeah, one more thing: your tax dollars at work. Our current leaders, the brilliant think tank that they are, have come up with a new system for determining the level of danger. It's color coded. The highest level of danger is... (drumroll please) ...RED. (You can applause now.) But here's the real stroke of genius: the lowest level of danger is .... none other than ... you guessed it!!! GREEN!!!
And all this brilliance for the low low price of a mere 28% of everything you make as a productive member of american the capitalist American almost-utopian society.
George W. and Dick Cheney were out to lunch (out for lunch). Because of his recent angioplasty, Cheney ordered the fruit salad, and Dubya said to the attractive young waitess, "I'd like to have a quickie." The girl was shocked and walked away, and Cheney leaned over and said, "George! It's quiche!"
This is somewhat misleading. There are many, many warnings about things that never come to pass; it should be no surprise that Bush was warned about a threat that vaguely resembles what was carried out on September 11th. Since September 11th, we've gotten numerous federal warnings about vague threats that have not been carried out. If an ATM is bombed a year from now, I wonder if people will say that we "ignored" the warnings...
I'd have to agree. I remember magazines like "Popular Mechanics" and the such running stories like "Terrorism: a threat to american soil" or something like that back in the 90s. It's always been a possibility, and we could all say we "knew" it was coming ever since it became trendy for terrorists to hijack commercial airliners back in the 70's. Even if some crazy fucker decides to send a letter saying something stupid like, "I'm gonna blow up a building in NYC!!" is it really grounds for shutting down the whole city? Or even the biggest building in the city? The evidence was obviously much more subtle than than, so it would be even more difficult to justify drastic measures unless you're pretty damn sure something was in the works. Why should we stick our heads in the sand every time some obscure piece of evidence pointing to a threat surfaces?
This seems like a political power play by FBI naysayers in Washington who are all for using the federal police power to put an even tighter stranglehold on our already waning personal freedoms. And on a personal note, I'm actually relieved to hear that somebody had some kind of an inkling about what was going on. It would be far more disturbing to me to find out that we were completely deaf, dumb, and blind in regard to such an awesome (in an evil way) event.
"There was no malfeance involved. This was an honest disagreement about accounting procedures. ... There was no malfeance, no attempt to hide anything."—White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002
(George Dubya defending his past bidness practices, without having looked up the word "malfeasance").
"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."—President Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002
"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002.