Poke the BUSH...

Bushisms.... Get your Bushisms... Post those suckers right here on this here page and contribute to the cause (the cause of keeping ourselves amused). This is dedicated to all the people who've been requesting a comprehensive section for all the entertaining ways that our stunning new prez can find to insert his foot into his mouth...

posted by Clint Phipps on Jan 08, 2001 10:48AM

"Will the highways on the Internet become more few?" (Dubya)

posted by Bert Phipps on Jan 08, 2001 11:01AM

"Families is where wings take dream." (Dubya)

posted by Bert Phipps on Jan 08, 2001 11:05AM

Not a Bushism, but close: "The President continues to surprise people, so I am not surprised to be surprised." -- Vice President Dick Cheney (from when he was Secretary of Defense)

posted by Zach Beane on Jan 08, 2001 11:35AM

"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." (Dubya)

posted by Bert Phipps on Jan 10, 2001 09:03AM

"Rarely is the question asked, Is our children learning?" (Dubya, waxing philosophical)

posted by Bert Phipps on Jan 16, 2001 11:35AM

"The woman who wrote that I had dyslexia, I never interviewed her." -Dubya

posted by Amanda Phipps on Jan 16, 2001 06:04PM

"If you're sick and tired of the politics of cynicism, polls, and principles, come join this campaign... It's going to require a President who understands it's in our strategic intrests to have a peaceful and ecomnomically vile hemisphere." -Dubya

posted by Amanda Phipps on Jan 16, 2001 06:08PM

"We oughta make the pie higher." -Dubya (explaining his tax cut)

posted by Amanda Phipps on Jan 16, 2001 06:10PM

"The benefits of helping someone is beneficial." -Dubya

posted by Troy Alley -- on Jan 16, 2001 06:17PM

"They want the federal government controlling Social Security, like it's some kind of federal program." (Dubya)

posted by Bert Phipps on Jan 19, 2001 02:30PM

"A tax cut is really one of the anecdotes to coming out of an economic illness." -George W. Bush

posted by Thudy Cydides on Feb 02, 2001 04:48PM

"It's about past 7 in the evening here, so we're actually in different time lines." President George W. Bush, calling the President of the Phillippines.

posted by Thudy Cydides on Feb 05, 2001 07:27PM

"Teach a child to read and he or her will be able to pass a literacy test." (President George W. Bush, speaking in Townsend, Tennessee, on February 21, 2001)

posted by Thudy Cydides on Feb 22, 2001 08:58AM

Bill Clinton, Al Gore, and George W. Bush were set to face a firing squad in a small Central American country. Bill Clinton was the first one placed against the wall and just before the order was given he yelled out, "Earthquake!" The firing squad fell into a panic and Bill jumped over the wall and escaped in the confusion. Al Gore was the second one placed against the wall. The squad was reassembled and Al pondered what he had just witnessed. Again before the order was given the Al yelled out, "Tornado!" Again the squad fell apart and Al slipped over the wall. The last person, George W. Bush, was placed against the wall. He was thinking "I'm not as dumb as they think I am... I see the pattern here, just scream out something about a disaster and hop over the wall." He confidently refused the blindfold as the firing squad was reassembled. As the rifles were raised in his direction he grinned from ear to ear and yelled, "Fire!"

posted by Bert Phipps on Feb 27, 2001 10:07AM

The election is over, the voting is done My party lost, your party won But let's be friends, let arguments pass I'll hug your elephant, you kiss my ass. -Al Gore, conceding to George Dubya

posted by ann athema on Mar 06, 2001 08:12AM

go to www.bushsucks.com This is an official site!

posted by Cat Bartash on Sep 04, 2001 03:49PM

"When I take action, I'm not going to fire a $2 million missile at a $10 empty tent and hit a camel in the butt. It's going to be decisive." Dubya, waxing philosophical about then-President Clinton's 1998 retaliatory cruise missle strike against Osama bin Laden, according to Newsweek.

posted by sam aritan on Sep 27, 2001 08:54AM

He's back. Six months after his transformation from national joke into indefatigable statesman, George W. Bush was on vintage form at a recent concert given in his honour. As Stevie Wonder took the stage, the President started waving to the blind musician...

posted by sam aritan on Mar 11, 2002 08:52AM

"I understand that the unrest in the Middle East creates unrest throughout the region."— the prez, Washington, D.C., March 13, 2002

posted by sam aritan on Mar 14, 2002 11:27AM

Anybody notice that we've gone from declaring war on distant foreign countries in the 50's and 60's (Korea and Vietnam, to declaring war on inanimate objects (drugs), to declaring war on intangibles (terrorism [not terrorISTS])? How does that work, anyway? What exactly do we fight? I could probably kick the shit outta a bag of weed on my own, but I'm not so sure about terrorism... And then: do we fight until drugs and terrorism raise their little white flags?

posted by Clint Phipps on Mar 21, 2002 04:32PM

Oh yeah, one more thing: your tax dollars at work. Our current leaders, the brilliant think tank that they are, have come up with a new system for determining the level of danger. It's color coded. The highest level of danger is... (drumroll please) ...RED. (You can applause now.) But here's the real stroke of genius: the lowest level of danger is .... none other than ... you guessed it!!! GREEN!!! And all this brilliance for the low low price of a mere 28% of everything you make as a productive member of american the capitalist American almost-utopian society.

posted by Clint Phipps on Mar 21, 2002 04:37PM

"We've tripled the amount of money—I believe it's from $50 million up to $195 million available."— The Prez, March 23, 2002

posted by sam aritan on Mar 27, 2002 09:30AM

Guess what. A bird in the hand is worth two in the Bush.

posted by Cody Phipps on Apr 01, 2002 12:27AM

"For a century and a half now, America and Japan have formed one of the great and enduring alliances of modern times."—George W. Bush, Tokyo, Japan, Feb. 18, 2002

posted by sam aritan on Apr 01, 2002 09:26AM

"The best way to relieve families from time is to let them keep some of their own money."—Westminster, Calif., Sept. 13, 2000

posted by Clint Phipps on Apr 18, 2002 05:00PM

"The legislature's job is to write law. It's the executive branch's job to interpret law."—Austin, Texas, Nov. 22, 2000

posted by Clint Phipps on Apr 18, 2002 05:06PM

"I want to thank the dozens of welfare to work stories, the actual examples of people who made the firm and solemn commitment to work hard to embetter themselves."—Washington, D.C., April 18, 2002

posted by sam aritan on Apr 23, 2002 10:38AM

Latest 2000 Presidential Results Candidate Popular Votes Al Gore 50,996,116 George W. Bush 50,456,169 Ralph Nader 2,831,066 Pat Buchanan 447,798 (Source: Washington Post)

posted by sam aritan on Apr 28, 2002 01:51PM

Latest 2000 Electoral College Results George W. Bush-Republican: 271 Albert Gore Jr.-Democrat: 266 (Source: http://www.uselectionatlas.org/)

posted by -- on Apr 29, 2002 11:50PM

George W. and Dick Cheney were out to lunch (out for lunch). Because of his recent angioplasty, Cheney ordered the fruit salad, and Dubya said to the attractive young waitess, "I'd like to have a quickie." The girl was shocked and walked away, and Cheney leaned over and said, "George! It's quiche!"

posted by sam aritan on May 09, 2002 04:32PM

So come to find out Bush and the FBI knew we were going to get attacked and didn't stop it. Great :\ http://www.msnbc.com/news/752871.asp

posted by Cat Bartash on May 16, 2002 09:26AM

This is somewhat misleading. There are many, many warnings about things that never come to pass; it should be no surprise that Bush was warned about a threat that vaguely resembles what was carried out on September 11th. Since September 11th, we've gotten numerous federal warnings about vague threats that have not been carried out. If an ATM is bombed a year from now, I wonder if people will say that we "ignored" the warnings...

posted by Zach Beane on May 16, 2002 09:32AM

I'd have to agree. I remember magazines like "Popular Mechanics" and the such running stories like "Terrorism: a threat to american soil" or something like that back in the 90s. It's always been a possibility, and we could all say we "knew" it was coming ever since it became trendy for terrorists to hijack commercial airliners back in the 70's. Even if some crazy fucker decides to send a letter saying something stupid like, "I'm gonna blow up a building in NYC!!" is it really grounds for shutting down the whole city? Or even the biggest building in the city? The evidence was obviously much more subtle than than, so it would be even more difficult to justify drastic measures unless you're pretty damn sure something was in the works. Why should we stick our heads in the sand every time some obscure piece of evidence pointing to a threat surfaces? This seems like a political power play by FBI naysayers in Washington who are all for using the federal police power to put an even tighter stranglehold on our already waning personal freedoms. And on a personal note, I'm actually relieved to hear that somebody had some kind of an inkling about what was going on. It would be far more disturbing to me to find out that we were completely deaf, dumb, and blind in regard to such an awesome (in an evil way) event.

posted by Clint Phipps on May 16, 2002 11:03AM

quote from my History teacher: "Supposedly Bush knew ahead of time about the terroist attacks. I have three questions. 1.) When did he know? 2.) What did he know? 3.) When did Cheney explain it all to him?" Rock on Mr. G...too bad only like 2 other kids in the class understood the joke

posted by Jess Chahanovich on May 17, 2002 02:01PM

What if Tom Daschle were president in August 2001?

posted by Zach Beane on May 30, 2002 01:01PM

"There was no malfeance involved. This was an honest disagreement about accounting procedures. ... There was no malfeance, no attempt to hide anything."—White House press conference, Washington, D.C., July 8, 2002 (George Dubya defending his past bidness practices, without having looked up the word "malfeasance").

posted by sam aritan on Jul 11, 2002 09:52AM

"The federal government and the state government must not fear programs who change lives, but must welcome those faith-based programs for the embetterment of mankind."—Stockton, Calif., Aug. 23, 2002

posted by sam aritan on Aug 26, 2002 02:13PM

"There's no bigger task than protecting the homeland of our country." Dubya

posted by sam aritan on Aug 26, 2002 02:15PM

"I was proud the other day when both Republicans and Democrats stood with me in the Rose Garden to announce their support for a clear statement of purpose: you disarm, or we will."—President Bush, speaking about Saddam Hussein, Manchester, N.H., Oct. 5, 2002

posted by sam aritan on Oct 07, 2002 06:55PM

"There's only one person who hugs the mothers and the widows, the wives and the kids upon the death of their loved one. Others hug but having committed the troops, I've got an additional responsibility to hug and that's me and I know what it's like."—Washington, D.C., Dec. 11, 2002.

posted by sam aritan on Dec 20, 2002 11:30AM

Here is a whole site of Bushisms... http://slate.msn.com/id/76886/

posted by Cat Bartash on Jan 09, 2003 01:53PM