Musician Jokes

Stop picking on just the drummer! Let's make fun of us ALL!

posted by Cody Phipps on Oct 28, 2005 11:29PM

Beloved Musician Definitions: coloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it. bar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two. beat: what music students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin. tenor: two hours before a nooner. diminished fifth: an empty bottle of Jack Daniels. relative minor: a girlfriend. perfect pitch: the smooth coating on a freshly paved road. french horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m. bach chorale: the place behind the barn where you keep the horses. isorhythmic motet: when half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half. metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf. http://www.mit.edu/~jcb/jokes/#definitions

posted by Cody Phipps on Oct 28, 2005 11:36PM

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know." A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!" The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative. Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!" The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?" "I'm a musician." The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"

posted by Cody Phipps on Oct 28, 2005 11:40PM

Christmascarols.wmv

posted by sam aritan on Dec 13, 2005 08:57AM