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Musician Jokes
Stop picking on just the drummer! Let's make fun of us ALL!
posted by Cody Phipps on Oct 28, 2005 11:29PM

Beloved Musician Definitions:

coloratura soprano: a singer who has great trouble finding the proper note, but who has a wild time hunting for it.

bar line: a gathering of people, usually among which may be found a musician or two.

beat: what music students do to each other with their instruments. The down beat is performed on top of the head, while the up beat is struck under the chin.

tenor: two hours before a nooner.

diminished fifth: an empty bottle of Jack Daniels.

relative minor: a girlfriend.

perfect pitch: the smooth coating on a freshly paved road.

french horn: your wife says you smell like a cheap one when you come in at 4 a.m.

bach chorale: the place behind the barn where you keep the horses.

isorhythmic motet: when half of the ensemble got a different edition from the other half.

metronome: a city-dwelling dwarf.

posted by Cody Phipps on Oct 28, 2005 11:36PM

A guy walks into the doctor's office and says, "Doc, I haven't had a bowel movement in a week!" The doctor gives him a prescription for a mild laxative and tells him, "If it doesn't work, let me know."

A week later the guy is back: "Doc, still no movement!"

The doctor says, "Hmm, guess you need something stronger," and prescribes a powerful laxative.

Still another week later the poor guy is back: "Doc, STILL nothing!"

The doctor, worried, says, "We'd better get some more information about you to try to figure out what's going on. What do you do for a living?"

"I'm a musician."

The doctor looks up and says, "Well, that's it! Here's $10.00. Go get something to eat!"

posted by Cody Phipps on Oct 28, 2005 11:40PM

posted by sam aritan on Dec 13, 2005 08:57AM