This area looks to be woefully underutilized, so herewith I, Sam Aritan, present a further series of "funny questions," along with more or less pertinent answers, in the form of a one-act drama entitled "How A Simple Down Home Bass Player can Get Forked in Law School." It seems particularly pertinent as finals approach.....
HOW A SIMPLE DOWN HOME BASS PLAYER (ETC., ETC., ETC.)
Setting: Law school classroom.
Cast: Law Professor, law students
Props: Desk, chairs, fork, switch, electrodes attached to students
Law Professor (holding up fork): What am I holding in my hand?
Clint (raising hand): A fork.
Law Professor: (Engages switch)
Law Professor (holding up fork): Again, what am I holding in my hand?
Clint: It.....it looks like a fork.......NO! PLEASE DON'T---
Law Professor (holding up fork): Once again, what am I holding in my hand?
Clint: In certain purely superficial respects, it may resemble what is sometimes referred to as a fork (cf: Latin forkus), depending of course upon the definition of "fork;" however we intend to present expert testimony showing that there are a number of other possible explanations, such that it cannot be determined beyond a reasonable doubt that this is indeed a fork, or for that matter, not a fork, nor with any degree of certainty not in actuality a spoon or knife, or other implement germane to ingestion, per se, depending upon who is being charged two hundred dollars per hour plus expenses; nor have we established beyond a reasonable doubt that, in any binding legal sense, that is your actual hand holding the object in question, or in fact engaging the switch, if in fact it is a switch.....
Law Professor: Excellent answer. (Engages switch again anyway).